No matter the race or ethnicity, it’s common that boys are given much more freedom than girls. However, this seems to be much more prevalent in the South Asian Community. We asked many of our female viewers about any differences they feel with their male siblings. Many of the answers included longer curfews, dressing how they want, allowed to date, and allowed to hangout with whoever they want. This week, we’ll be touching up on some of these topics and double standards.
Boys are given more freedom than girls in a lot of aspects, but one aspect that is very frustrating is going out. Boys are often allowed to hangout with anyone at any time, whereas girls are more restricted. Most of the time a girl's parents make sure they know who their daughter is with and give them a time frame to be back home. Often boys will also have a later curfew and their parents are more lenient with them.We polled our audience and they found this to be true as well. Most people said that even their younger brothers are given more freedom than what they had at that age. One follower said “Behavior that is dismissed for them is often disciplined for us.” This is true because many times, girls are criticized for all of their actions unlike boys who often get away with whatever they want.
Many South Asian boys are allowed to date, compared to the girls. Of course, every parent has their concerns, especially because of how dangerous sexual assault can be in today’s society. One of our followers said that “From the dating perspective, [her] brother is allowed to have a girlfriend/talk about girls. But, girls are seen as immature and ‘non studious’ if [they] were even to talk about boys,” This relates to the toxic mindset that it doesn’t matter how many girls a guy has been with; in fact, a boy is praised when he says he has been with multiple girls. However, if the roles were reversed, the girl would be considered a sl*t. Many of our other female viewers said that because their brothers are given more freedom, they are more prepared for the real world, as they know how to handle certain situations better.
Similar to relationships, marriage is another area where there is a big double standard. Marriage is never rushed for a boy, but families in South Asia tend to get a girl married as soon as possible. Typically a girl in India gets married before the age of thirty. Any time after thirty for the girl is considered late and it is likely that she will be unwanted from other families. However, a boy getting married after the age of thirty is somewhat normal. In a family where the children are a mix of boys and girls, most of the girls get married before the boys even if the boys are older than them. For example, my (Nikitha) father has four siblings. He has three sisters, one of which is older than him and one older brother. My dad is the middle child but he was the last one to get married in his family. One of my dad’s younger sisters even got married before his older brother. This is also because getting girls married is seen as a burden in many South Asian families so they often get married sooner whereas there is not as much urgency for a boy.
Going back to our Desire for Boys post, we discussed the overall desire to have a boy. The boy is more likely to make more money and bring more to his family and parents. However, all of these behaviors are hidden misogyny. The world is most definitely more dangerous for women than men, however, women shouldn’t be treated any differently than men. It’s up to our Generation to raise our children equally- making both the boy and the girl do household duties, cook, and let them have the same curfew and same rules. Said simpler: Boys should not be treated differently than girls.
The most frustrating double standard in our opinion is clothing especially for girls. Girls are allowed to wear lenghas which typically show some skin but they are told they are not allowed to wear crop tops. How is this fair? Oftentimes a lehenga shows more skin than a crop top but because it is traditional clothing it is considered okay. Especially in today’s society clothing is a form of self expression and by making exceptions for one article of clothing but not another is very unfair. Additionally, most parents don’t tell their sons what they can and can’t wear. Once again parents are lenient on their sons but critical towards their daughters.
Come back next week for our next post on Islamophobia!